Relationships of Love: Did I Make the Right Choice?

Luggage Most people have heard of the old adage “everyone has baggage.”  In other words, most people, if not everyone, have emotional issues.  When it comes to love relationships, be they marital or dating, emotional issues are quite common.  The reader very likely knows of people who tend to have troublesome marriages, or singles who seem to have a pattern of entering into dysfunctional relationships.  In our society, the divorce rate is quite high.  The fact that such relationship issues exist is not a surprise and is to be expected.  The question is… why would that be the case?  The answer has to do with the role of the unconscious mind.

The unconscious mind has one job, which is to protect you.  If there is a problem, it must continually attempt to fix the problem.  It is believed by this author that the unconscious mind is a physical entity within the body in terms of cellular memory that is designed to protect us from an evolutionary “survival of the species” perspective.  Accordingly, it has no choice but to bring that problem into our life to give us an opportunity to work on it.  If we ignore what is going on in terms of the problem, even if we terminate that problem, the problem will return.  Applying this process to marriages and other relationships, if we get a divorce but do not resolve the underlying problem, there is a strong likelihood that when we marry again, we will bring that unresolved problem back into our life.  The same process occurs in terms of selecting a boyfriend or girlfriend.

If we look at the process from an historical perspective, it is very typical that the various problems we have to deal with on a daily basis have their genesis from the past, most often dating back to childhood, in the context of daily family life.  In some cases, the genesis may stem from academic or social relationships with peers during elementary, middle, or high school.  Regardless, if the individual ignores such a history, the identified problems will continue repeatedly into the future.  In other words, those who ignore history are condemned to repeat it.  This is not just a “cute” concept, but rather a physiological certainty.


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